start of something new

yea..so i've been grumpy lil j the past few days whenever i think of going back to boring ol bruce hall, to an empty room so yea haha but its gonna change..(well at least i hope it would). one step at a time. one step to first make more effort to get to know hall mates..hall mates My age.. haha since everyones been saying i need to get my own friends so yea.. haha =D anyways..pics to make this blog less boring! hehe

Commencement 2009

that's pretty much it for the photos i have..photos from my birthday(which i think is like only 1 or 2) haha will be posted soon enough.. when i find the desire to do this again HAHA

i went for a one day trip to sydney with sis, hong yin and will the day after my birthday and i had lotsa fun.. we ate dim sum..yumm and walked to circular quay*i think thats how you spell it and took lotsa photos. some nice.some should be deleted.some really funny. and and there were these native people who were like blowing i dunno what that made this sounds that were...er interesting? and they sold the CD for like $10. they like only wear clothes to cover areas that should not be open and yeah..they sit on the floor and blow into these pipes. then like the tourist all go take picture with them haha so funny. the small kid look so bahs..he/she*i dunno which is it coz i think got short hair and so small la..no diff haha but i think guy la. so maybe he la. so anyway.. he must have been thinking.. *why all these weird people keep coming..sheesh i wanna play with my toy. pfft* he had some soft toy la..yea ok..that was just me babbling.

and the journey continues to this place called The Rocks. its like this market place thats only open on weekends and they sell like anything from paintings to soap to clothes to jewelerry to crystals..i think you get the idea. basically they sell lotsa stuff la.. then we walked till a little late and then the restaurant like took freeking long to get the food ready la..so we had to like RUN so that we wont miss the bus. i mean like LITERALLY run!!! haha i think i never ran like that before..some more i was like holding food and drinks. i prob look like some sakai haha but thank God it was sydney and not canberra. haha canberra so small can meet people but syd so big..probabilty lower haha but yea.. all in all it was interesting!

im goin DFO tomorrow with my new friend who shares the same namee hehe weee shopping! hehe hopefully i dun spend so much. anyways..more pics when i feel like it.

Love!

different

everything here seems so different. im so tempted to stay in my new comfort zone. staying with my sister like as if friends don't matter. its so easy to just run to my room whenever i feel like its hard to make meaningless conversations. its so easy to run to my sister's house whenever i can so i don't have to start to think of asking silly questions and awkward silences. sigh. people said it is hard..they forgot to mention it was THIS hard!

i came wanting to do many more things than i am now. i've been here for 2 months. who have i become? what have i done that would help me move one step closer to being more independant? what have i done so that i would grow in my walk with God? i guess the answer to all those questions is no. i only have 7 months more here in aus till next year. i wanted so much to come here and make a difference in my life and others but all i feel like is i failed to meet that expectation i set for myself. i was scared. i am still scared thats why i choose to hide. its like hibernating during winter only this winter doesnt seem to end. sigh. maybe i set too high an expectation but i thought they say reach for the stars so if you dun reach the star you at least reach something right? sigh how come i feel like im still lying on the ground unmoving? sigh..

i feel like whenever i come to this blog its like all depressing and all sad stories of how life here sucks haha but it isnt. im just frustrated at who i am. compleasant. satisfied where i am. sigh so ignore all that rambles which probably no one would read coz its like all words haha but yea... for a note, my life ain't that depressing. its just down time. im in desperate need of a HIGH time. not literrally the 'high' u know. as in the good kinda high. haha yea okay whatever. im tired of typing haha i just miss the me i used to know. okay. enough of emo. byee ppl