glass and blood and a happy birthday

this by far is the most eventful cny i've had. hehe...

so here's the story:

I decided to face facts and start packing for my trip to study in aussie.

so i had to take some stuff from the glass cupboard in my study room.

so while my mom slided the glass..it kinda popped out. *it didnt fit properly the glass*

haha

so pop went the glass and pop went my hand up to try and block/stop/i have no clue the glass

hence

A cut finger(s)

A trip to the doctor

A patch of skin glued together with glue

A painful injection

A series of medicine

A very ugly right hand wrapped with white stuffies

A spastic feeling for at least another week

haha

the very ugly looking glass cutted hand

dear * b *:
Happy 20th!

i know its two days late to wish you. im sorry..but you know why i couldn't do it that night. haha

i'll save the lovey dovey and bulu roma will stand stuff for you only..spare you ppl from suffering geli-ness hehe

i love you lots!

Ushering many more new years to come together. =D

denial...

i think i have chose to live in denial these past few months... trying to push all the thoughts and fears of leaving this land i call home.. i don't want to think nor imagine nor talk about any of it. it is as though by not talking the day won't come and that time won't come where i will walk down that dreadful escalator in KLIA.

when will i start to think? i don't know..soon i hope? ketua biri-biri *so long never call u that di..now u really are again* and cgl both also talk to me...scary as it was...the longest trip i ever had to bkt tinggi haha but i'm still scared....

both of you have spoken so much..encouragement and pushing me to do what i need to...i am very thankful to both of you..really... but i don't know where to find that courage to start... i'm really not that strong... i wanna cry.. sigh

God.......
help me...

give me courage and strength to face the struggles ahead...

help me get myself out of this denial

i cannot do this on my own... for your power is made perfect in my weaknesses.

i commit this into Your hands.

in Jesus name

amen.

help me find my way

sniff sniff

u monkey backside......i miss you laarrrrrrrrrrr

come back already!!!!

est and i saw something that resembled you.... it was a sticker on a car that said...... ITCHY BACKSIDE hahahahhaha

monkey you faster come home di la.... dunnit stay so long la...afteerrr freeeeezzzeeee ur backside off...

ish...so boh song larrrrr dun have you when we go out...urghhh.....

oh wells...love love..

would i be able to?

jeng jeng jeng.....i just found out that my awesome-ness exam results will be out on the 23rd of December.... so should i be happy? anxious? excited? bleh? haha i don't know....

Jon just got his results and he did very well...Praise God for that....He truly is a testimony of God's greatness and love and faithfulness..i mean like if u knew him from high school..the results he got then compared to what he gets now..its like....Awesomeeeeee......

but what about me? can i say the same about myself? God brought me through all my internal exams throughout this year...but when finals came...my confidence and faith level just took a free fall and reached rock bottom..every paper seemed Horrible to me...its like i am hoping that i will get enough to get into ANU. thats all im hoping for....and i don't want that coz i wanna do well not just okay... sighhh

what if i don't get the results i want....would i still be able to praise God? would i still be able to choose to bless His name? I pray i would.. coz I know He has greater plans for me and He loves me more than i can ever imagine....

la di da dum........oh welll better enjoy before i find out hehehe....cant wait for the hot springs trip...ipoh trip...pig feast....christmas....ahhhh the joy of holidays... =D

a monkey turned sixteen

i know i am like 2 days late and she already flew(whatever mode of transport - only yian and est would understand hehe ) to a land far far away... but anyway.. since its supposed to be her sweet sixteen.. i shall still blog about it.

To the monkey who turned sixteen... sadly not very much sweeter..hehehe

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!


You have truly been a great friend...entertaining friend....ganas friend...made me angry friend... funny friend...crazy friend....monkey backside friend....believes me everytime friend ( remember how you believed that my house number was ****1234 or something like that and u really called hahaha and it was midnight hahahaha )....most of all...sister in Christ...

Its late and my brains aren't really functioning..so i shall leave it to the pics to tell the story and memories we shared...

cleaning up during YF camp 2007

our dorm - YF camp 2008

my 18th

nick's 18th

EE together...

There are actually many more..but im sleepy...maybe one day i will decide to load more...until then...love ya lots monkey!

why does it sound so easy to do but actually so hard?

why does pretty rainbows only appear for seconds or minutes before its all gloomy again?

why must it be this way?

why can't i just be mean?

why can't i?

why must i?

argh....

God.... Help me!

coz i don't feel like it. i don't feel like being nice and good and kind and supportive... i feel like not caring..being mean...ughhhhhh....i don't like struggling with my fleshhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! silly flesh!

bleh.

letting go....

i have to admit that i wasn't like very hyped up for camp. somehow this time i was very reluctant to start packing, very reluctant to be nice and just reluctant. Jon said that i will only feel like that now but it will change once i get to camp and come home.

So...

Jon was right. Camp did turn out really different. Different in many ways i cannot really explain. Like cia said, i cannot say this was the best camp because every year camp was best in its own way and God spoke in diff ways.. but really...camp was awesome and i learnt lots bout humility...gratitude...love...forgiveness... and the list goes on...

From today, im going to begin to let go of the past and everything else... * probably only jon would understand * at least im going to try. haha

YF CAMP 2008!

Friends and brothers and sisters in Christ.. and one soon to be also a brother in Christ... =D